The Ruler Development

Selecting the glass 

                                                             

  

She begins to take shape

Liking the ruler edging

4am Thursday

                 

Up early this am, feel being creative is helping, if not distracting from the uncomfortableness in my body.This mosaic is really taking shape now.Loving the purple, which is one of my favourite colours to work with....its a colour that's often associated with speaking your truth. What i love with this process is how it evolves if I don't pull against it with definite ideas...I love the unfurling process....this is not how I imagined what would be in this frame when I first found it.

Martyn received his 'donating his kidney consent form' yesterday. He has to think about what if they take his kidney out and I cant receive it for some bizarre reason, apparently this is a remote possibility...what? Do they put it back in or donate it to someone else?I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried...in fact its good to be able to be humorous about it otherwise I'd spend what time I have at the moment worrying....instead of creating! In some way I feel sorry for the medics in this litigious society....guess they have to cover all the bases....and in fact its a good question to think about...what if? I'm glad there thinking about all aspects...because I don't have the brain space at the moment. For me I'm quite happy to give over the physical aspects to the medics and I have had and am having a great experience at both Hope Hospital and the MRI with the care I am receiving. It makes a great difference to me the relationships I forge with the folk I am giving over some degree of control over my disease to .My responsibility is too look after my emotional responses to this process which is fundamental to my wellness's.I can do that!

Mart has to take his letter to his surgical team. He has a separate  renal team to mine so that there is no 'funny business', I think the proper terms is that the process is uncontaminated, unbiased and has ethical integrity.Just checking he's not being pressurized or indeed being  'made to fit' so to speak! He says he has had a great experience with his team too, they have been clear, understanding, supportive and challenging in the process of really checking this is the right physical and indeed mental choice for him.

We are in a waiting space but the fantastic thing about having a live donor means you have a tangible hope of having a kidney soon. I'm just waiting for a phone call for a theatre date..but I know others who are waiting for a phone call from the organ transplant list people.I cant imagine what that is like..waiting and not knowing, greeting each day with the hope that today would be the day they got the phone call...which holds the hope of a better healthier life.Live donorship brings different difficulties , in terms of how do you ask someone if they'd surrender one of their organs to you,who would you ask?What if they say no?What if they say yes?Its complex.Martyn made this easy for me but if he hadn't I don't know if I could have asked? More about that later....